The content of this article is published for entertainment purposes only and does not constitute financial, legal, or tax advice. Please consult a qualified professional before proceeding with any investment decision.
It's a vibe, man. Look all around you. Winds of change are here and we stand on the precipice of an inflection point.
The halving is around the corner. Old women are yelling at clouds. Artists are minting NFTs on bitcoin, an effort people once thought impossible and others think is dumb. Gary Gensler, after months of exacting the nerd's revenge, seems like he just might anoint the long-awaited bitcoin boomer minivan. And the most interesting man in the world has now graced us with his presence.
It all means one thing: sweet, sweet capitulation. Dawn has broken and we're all waiting for the drop. The question is are you ready?
Where we're going we don't need money. No, my friends, we're looking at immortality now. I'm talking The Great Gatsby. Woodstock. Hollywood in the 30s and 40s. Wall Street in the 80's. Silicon Valley in the 2000s. Or any time, any place where anything was possible.
The golden age is here and the possibility has been there all along. It's been hiding in plain sight.
The first time I heard about bitcoin was in 2010. Life was green and so was I. It was a point in my life where I smoked so much weed it changed my personality for good. My dealer, his dealer, or somebody had diversified. I don't even remember his name.
"Yo," he said. "There's this new thing. It can get you anything you want. Anything at all. It might take a while, but it'll come. And it takes this thing called bitcoin."
Even that was too rich for my blood. I had no job. I'd raided my coin collection. I was buying weed with a baggy of Sacajawea dollars. "Nah, man," I said. "I'm good."
I've never been into hard drugs, but that's the one memory I have that makes me wonder what could've been. I'd probably be dead or I might be on my own private island. Talk about a fork in the road. Shit, if I had pocket change from transactions back then, I'd be up in space with Jeff Bezos.
But alas, it wasn't meant to be. I had to crawl on my belly and share my insanity with you fine folks. And destiny brought me back to bitcoin soon enough.
Last year, I was at a party on Star Island, drinking old fashioneds with the influencers, walking on air, and trying not to faceplant into the hedges and the palm trees. At one point, I got myself steady and gazed out over a reflection pool across the bay at South Beach. Bright lights, big city, bigger life. The glitz and glamour shined everywhere on full tilt. Perhaps a stupor, perhaps a dream, but everything that shimmers must fade.
"I should go home and sell my bitcoin right now," I said to myself. "This has got to be the top."
I didn't. Chickened out once again. I was caught up in the moment chasing dollars, chasing sats. We ask ourselves when bitcoin is going to the moon, but the moon pulls the tide. We should be more interested in that.
So what makes me think this is the golden age? It has been so far. Even the bad times have made good stories. I remember SBF when he was just another douchebag buying friends. I destroyed a Brazilian steakhouse with some of the meanest sons of bitches known to man. I saw a driver in a convertible get hit in the face by a low-flying parrot. This is the kind of shit the AI can't generate. I stared into the simulation and what I saw is hope.
Everything about the 2020s has started out all fucked up and been lovely on the other side. As sick and twisted as it sounds, I sometimes wonder if COVID actually wiped out humanity, we're all dead, and this is the afterlife we're in now. There's just no mistaking what's happening here. I don't care who you are — life after lockdown hasn't been the same. It's something spiritual and perhaps the rapture.
One of the things that fascinates me about bitcoin is how it transforms so many of the lives it touches. You could be a bum sleeping in a dumpster. You could get orange-pilled, decide to paint yourself orange, fill the dumpster with Venezuelan bolivar, and suddenly the whole thing becomes a form of performance art. You have a purpose once again. The light enters your soul, flips it on, you become the light.
If this is truly the golden age, when will it be over? The on-the-nose thing is to look for the gold market cap and if bitcoin crosses that, which would be about $700k as this writing. But I don't think the gold matters that much — it as arbitrary as anything else in these post-modern times. Gold is just a rock and $700k is just a number. What matters is the build-up. The suspense is just as important as the payoff.
And this time, everyone's in on what's happening. Act I brought the bandits. Act II brought the gold rush. Act III brings everyone. And when everyone's here, it's time to roll the credits. That's when the shit gets old.
Or if bitcoin's really what we think it is, maybe the golden age will never stop and we'll all ascend into heaven. That feels like a cop out. We'll only know in retrospect. History's written by the winners, and it's kept by those who live in the past.
Enjoy right now. It won't last. The good times never do and we don't know what tomorrow will bring. There may come a time when they round us all up and send us to the gulag for having too much fun.
The big question isn't if you have enough bitcoin. No one does, no one ever will. Everyone is early, everyone is late. What matters is making the most of this moment and giving it your purest focus. Get out there and make some memories because I hate to break it to you but we're gonna be old after this.
Even the champagne loses its fizz. This shit has aged us all considerably, and at some point, we'll get in the boomer van to Branson. Khaki pants, cover bands, hot flashes, regrets. I started losing my hair the day I bought my first sats. We make fun of our parents while we become them.
Joke's on me too. I have a baby on the way, my first. It seems like the best possible page a person can turn. As scared shitless as I am to become a dad, I know there's no better time for it. Lord knows I gotta grow up at some point. The due date is the halving, and I'm looking forward to my productivity being cut in half.
I just want the kiddo to be happy and healthy — I don't care about anything else. If they become a toddler hodler, that's a bonus. Being here right now and paying attention has been enough of a reward. The money is secondary to me now. I just want to look my kid in the eye and say "Yeah, I was there."
I don't need to be cool anymore. I already was.
What a time to be alive.
The content of this article is published for entertainment purposes only and does not constitute financial, legal, or tax advice. Please consult a qualified professional before proceeding with any investment decision.
Give your boy some bubbly water
Bitcoin: 3MyoCqFV8XpEbcbxetB9MrpurYHU8cAvFz
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J.T. Woodhouse